FAILMOM

Excerpt from an email my mom sent me from San Francisco:

"I saw famous people today at lunch but I have no idea who they are. I'm sure you would know them, they were attracting some attention. ??"

Proof That My Mom is Kee-Razy

Ladies and Germs, I give you Exhibit A:


CHICKENS!!!

Yes, these are the chickens that live in my parent's house. Mind you, my parents don't live on a bucolic farm way out in the boonies with cows and a barn or anything. They live smack in Urban Portland, OR. She is trying to blame my brother for the appearance of the house chickens, but I am positive she is just using him as a scapegoat. And speaking of goats, I firmly believe these chickens are the gateway "pet" to more Urban-Living Farm Animals, like goats. I know she wants goats. I know this because my stepdad and I have had to talk her out of getting goats on several different occasions. She also claims there is a herd of feral goats roaming the West Hills. No doubt she knows this because they are the direct result of some secret goat-hoarding scheme she hatched up that went terribly awry.

Are You Happy?? No More Vaginacake!

It has been brought to my attention by a number of faithful readers (Mom and Boss Lady) that they are sick of coming to my site and being confronted with the Vaginacake again and again because I am too lazy to post. Or, as I like to call it, too tired from human-being-manufacturing conjure up the energy to post. But it seems like my energy is slowly resurfacing and I might be able to start paying attention my my little neglected blog here and give the people what they want--More Wonkiness!

I do have a few posts planned, but, alas, I cannot promise the full-force triumphant return that I would like to give. I do have certain obligations that must take priority. I am in the process of looking for a new baby-friendly home, then hopefully a move soon after that! I still have a couple other fun things I am trying to keep up with. I have been taking Pilates in the evenings and tomorrow night my knitting class finally starts! Yay! I still have to get going with Yoga, because I have a feeling in my tummy (quite literally) that I won't be able to do Pilates much longer. After that I will have to take care of a couple little things like "give birth' and "learn how to be a parent," but I promise that in the meantime will re-dedicate myself to you, my adoring public, and this blog.

Stay tuned!