Happy Birthday Mom!!!

Love,

Eloise

Wine(o) of the Weak!

This week I am featuring one of my absolute faves, the Menage a Trois Red Table Wine from Folie a Deux Winery.



Despite the tres Frenchiness of the name, it is actually from Napa Valley, California. It is a pleasant blend of Zinfandel, Merlot and Cabernet. It goes for exactly $10, but like I always say, you can always get in on sale for a buck or two less, you GD cheapskate!

Cheers!

The Wonk

Not Too Shabby After All

So IT happened last week. The day I have been dreading for months, nay, years now. I turned 30. Frickity frick frick. I thought I would just be all maudlin and lock myself in and watch Cocoon all day, but as a matter of fact, I had a pretty awesome birthday/birthday weekend! A recap:

My friends rallied for me on this dark day and made it really fun. My BF organized a dinner on Saturday for all of us at a new Indian restaurant downtown that was just awesome. We all laughed and caught up and had a generally great time. After dinner we went to one couples' house to play some video games. I may be one year older, but garsh darnnit, not any more mature! Somehow during the course of the evening, my BF and I agreed to go to the yearly Kite Festival at Rockaway Beach with another couple. So on Sunday, we got up WAY too early and our friends picked up and whisked us away to the beach. It was overcast, so there weren't as many kites as we hoped, but we still had a great time.


Not a lot of kites....


Mr Wonk and I.

Our friends have two awesome dogs that came with us, Stanley and Edgar. They just got Edgar the week before and he was only 7 weeks old when we went to the beach. He is a purebred Shih-Tzu and literally the size of a gerbil and just about the cutest thing I have ever seen.


Seriously cute. He practically needs bodyguards for his own safety.


Edgar, Daddy, and Stanley.

We got stopped by nearly every person out there to coo over Edgar, and there was an awkward moment when we were all pretty sure that a Japanese family was going to try and steal him.

We arrived back home about 3:30pm and were immediately invited to a BBQ by yet another couple that couldn't make it to the dinner because their babysitter bailed. we spent a few hours eating and chatting and generally having a good time. Its kinda good that they couldn't make it, other wise I would have been forced to wear this the whole night:



Yes, a princess crown with 30 on it and a blue feathered slap bracelet. Slap bracelet! I haven't thought about those in years. Granted, it wouldn't have matched my outfit, but a princess crown goes with everything! Right gals?!

I had Monday and Tuesday (THE day) off work. On Tuesday I made plans to go to the Portland Art Museum with Mom of Puppy, so we spent the morning there being followed by an over-eager security guard who clearly though we were planning a heist. We did manage to ditch him long enough thanks to a group of kids on a field trip so she could take some cell pics of the piece she was writing about for school and hauled ass out of there before we could get 86ed from the place. How sad would that be? 86ed from an Art Museum. On my birthday. We had a nice lunch and later I met my mom for some coffee and cake at a local bakery. I picked up some steaks on the way home and my BF grilled them up for dinner.

Boss Lady called while I was with Mom and let me know that I could come in half an hour late the next day, which was a very nice surprise. She generally does not tolerate tardiness of any kind. Little did I know that it was was so my team could put these on my desk:



They are literally 3 feet tall. I brought them home and Las Gatas just stare at them. But my team redeemed themselves by pitching in to get me Guitar Hero for my new Wii and also got me some pretty flowers. And I am sure they realize that all but one of them have their own birthdays coming up in the next few weeks, and there will be payback. Mwah-ah-ah!




Thanks for everything, everyone! You all made me feel special, well-loved, and very happy on my birthday!

Love,

The Wonk

I Couldn't Say It Better Myself

more cat pictures

Wine(o) of the Weak!

This week's selections is a 2006 Gnarly Head Old Vine Zin from California. Its a hefty and satisfying and quite delicious. My favorite pairing is with a pasta with a rich, meaty red sauce. The heaviness of the wine balances out and enhances the heaviness of the pasta nicely. And I am not too big on the pastas, so that's saying a lot.



If you want the fancy-pants review from the site, you can find it here.

So there ya have it folks! Go load up on all the naughty carbs and enjoy!

Cheers!

The Wonk

30 Wonky Things About The Wonk on Her 30th Birthday

1) My body does not Tolerate the Lactose. Which I find, frankly, just plain rude. I have to take a pill to eat cow-dairy.
2) I hate the way the the stupid pill for the dairy-challenged tastes. Like a lot. Tons. HUGE. More than Tums. Also, can I get a handicapped parking permit for "My Condition?"
3) I wish I could be both a morning person and a night owl. Right now I just have the night owl part down. Morning....not so much.
4) I can wink my left eye, but I do not have the ability to wink my right eye, which makes no sense to me. I can blink it, why not wink it?
5) I brush my teeth in the shower. It shaves like 3 very important seconds from the morning routine.
6) I can't keep a plant alive to save my GD life. The Blackest of Thumbs, am I.
7) Speaking of black, I spent a good 2 years of my life in high school telling people I was black as the result of a genetic fluke accident from being a Irish/Mexican mix because I thought it was funny. I am, in fact Irish/Mexican, and now have come to terms with not being black. I mean, seriously, I have freckles, and not the Morgan Freeman kind.
8) People were scared of me initially in high school. (See Number 7)
9) And it wasn't just because of the whole "I'm Black" thing. That came way later after people started to get my wonkiness. It might have been the skull rings, black leggings under cut-off jean shorts (that was in back then, btw), Red Hot Chili Peppers BloodSugarSexMagic T-Shirt, burnt black velvet converse (the bomb!) with pentagrams drawn on them, and a generally surly attitude. But the Grunge Era had just started and yadda yadda yadda, and there I was.
10) Did I mention that I went to an all-girls Catholic high-school? With Real Nuns!
11) I have truly been in love with my BF for over 10 years now, even though we have been together for just over 2 years.
12) I probably know more about current events and pop culture more than everyone else I know, but that's not getting me anywhere. Except for carrying on extensive conversations about Paris, Lindsey, Brit, Brangelina, etc....
13) I can't help that I know all this crap but can't manage to get a college degree in The Stuff That Counts.
14) I am taking out my tongue ring today! I got it on my 20th birthday and see it only fitting to take it out today marking the end of an era. Plus, its just about freaking time.
15) I still like Gangsta Rap. I can't wait until we are all in the nursing home together with our tats and piercing holes throwing signs at each other in the hall when we are being wheeled to dinner and rapping about bitches and hos. West Wi-ING, Baby!
16) Officially over half-way there!
17) I am totally one of those people that when a person dies in a movie, I could really care less. But if its an animal, I am totally distraught.
18) I love to read. I hope to have a real library for my books in my home one day where I can drink tea in a blanky and look out the window at the scenery. While listening to Gangsta Rap, of course.
19) I am trying very hard to get very technically savvy. I have a huge interest, but lack the innate skills or focus. But I am working on it and getting much better.
20) Even though I am trying to be a Grown-Up, I still might get my nose pierced soon.
21) I would like to be a vegetarian, and have been one before, but holy cow (lol!), I luvs me some good meat.
22) I love to cook, sometimes well, sometimes, umm, maybe not so well.
23) Because I can't just follow a recipe straight out, I always have to Wonkify it and it may not come out as intended.
24) I am obsessed with chefs, celebrity chefs (national or international) and all shows that involve cooking, especially competitive.
25) I am a savory, not sweet person.
26) Also, it MUST be spicy. As spicy as possible, like have the extinguisher close at hand. You may have to put my mouth out.
27) Last thing, about food (can you tell I am obsessed?), I LOVE condiments. Its what pretty much takes up the majority of my cupboards and fridge. And a desk drawer at work. (Note to self: call Xhibit to pimp my glove box into a condiment holder.)
28) I love sunny weather just as much as I do rainy weather. Which makes living in Portland a pretty good match for me.
29) I really really REALLY want a trampoline and someday will get one to play on. I am pretty sure I will break something while playing on it, but its a risk I am willing to take.
30) After months of kvetching and freaking out about 30, now that it has actually happened, I am surprisingly actually zen with it. I had a really good weekend with friends and a great day today, so I am cured! Yay me!

Getting Wii-Tarded!

I finally got my elusive White Whale today. The Coveted Wii Gaming System! I have been trying to get my hands on this MFer for months now. Granted, I could have gotten up in the middle of the night to go stand in line for hours like a Responsible Person, but I'm too lazy to do that. Naturally, I figured eventually I would just stumble upon a rogue Wii randomly at The Tar-jay or maybe The Sweet Baby BeJesus would leave one on my doorstep like a Prom Night Dumpster Baby. But my Dad, being as awesome as he is, totally hooked me up!




He asked me if I wanted anything for my birthday and at first I said no, but then it just popped in my head. Wii! I said well, if you do want to get me anything, the only thing I really want is a Wii. After explaining what exactly a Wii was, he did a lot of research and tracked on down and got me one! It came today, and in good timing. I was having a helluva day due to a certain client of mine I affectionatly call Dr. Evil (and not in the cool Summers-in-Rangun-Louge-Lessons way), and BOOM. Wii have arrived. **Angels Singing** FYI, you may not be hearing from me in awhile, due to an acute case of Wii-itis (an actual diagnosable medical condition, for realz). No need to call The Authoratayz, just chillin' with my Wii.

Peace out

The Wonk

Wine(o) of the Weak! With Special Guest Star!

This week I decided to mix it up a bit and share with you one of my favorite beers, the Lagunitas Maximus IPA.



IPAs are my favorite when it comes beer, and this one in particular doesn't mess around. It is very rich and has the perfect balance of flavor with the bittersweet edge that is the distinct flavor of IPAs. It comes in a 22oz bottle and packs a 7.5 alcohol level, so its perfect to pop one open and share with a friend.

Cheers!

The Wonk

My New Toy (That Also Almost Got Me Killed and Turned Me Into a Ho-Bag at Work)

I gave myself a little birthday gift yesterday. I bought myself a new BlackBerry Curve!!


I usually just get the freebie phone my cell service offers, so this is the first phone I have actually bought since my first cell! I meant to go get a new I-Am-Turning-Thrirty-But-Still-Can-Look-Hot-Outfit at lunch today, but got distracted by my new phone and spent my whole lunch hour in my car trying to figure it out. I had my windows open for my own protection so I wouldn’t asphyxiate myself like a forgotten dog/baby that gets left in the car while Daddy hits the bar/strip club/slots, but then a freaking bee flew in. BTW, bees hate The Wonk. They hate The Wonk so much that they can, with one swift stinger jab to the skin, actually KILL The Wonk. I was wearing a mid calf-length skirt (ew, skirt, but VIPs are in the office this week) and in my effort to exit the car as swiftly as possible to save my life, I tore the slit in the back of my skirt, to essentially, um, my slit. Now, if I have to get up from my desk, I have to wrap a sweatshirt around my waist, which kinda defeats the purpose of the dress code this week and just makes it look like I probably have a period stain on my skirt. Awesome.

Gone Fishing!

Well, not me, the boy-half of Wonk. He got up at the butt-crack of dawn this morning, grabbed his pole (that's what she said!) and headed off to the Deschutes River with his buddy. Although I am miss him this weekend, it also gives me some time to Do Whatever I Want. I slept in really late and didn't get out of bed until even later. I took a shower much later than that. I got my nails did (more on that later), rented some Chick Flicks that, to be fair, he usually will watch with me but I try to spare him as much as possible. I also straitened up the pad, went to the bank, the grocery, and donated some food, so I am not a totally lazy, selfish biatch. I am not sure when he is coming back tomorrow, but I am looking forward to another morning of sleeping in shamefully late at least!
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to burning CDs, spying on the Newly Batchelorized Neighbor's shennanigans, hanging out with Las Gatas, watching my movies, and eating my favorite dinner of pate, brie, and crackers. Yay me!

The Wonk

Wine(o) of the Weak!

I decided this week because if the impending warm weather, to choose a perfect sunny-day weekend-afternoon wine:



Its from Chateau Ste. Michelle Winery from Washington. This wine is very sweet and light and just perfect for when you want to relax in the sun with a lovely glass of cold wine and a good book or foodie magazine. It runs at $8.99, a very reasonable price. And again, I am a big fan of the weekly sales that grocery stores always have. So grab a glass and a good (or trashy!) book, head outside and enjoy!

Cheers!

The Wonk

Some Serious Dramz Has Gone Down

Well. I have a major update for all y'allz about The Neighbors. Girl Neighbor totally moved out. For good. For evah. Wow. So its just good ole Boy Neighbor and New Dude all alone down there with the Asshole dog (who is really just the sweetest dog, not assholey at all). Is it wrong that I secretly am waiting to hear sexy-time noises to confirm what my BF and I joked about?? Is Butt Boy reason for the split up or the result?
So here is how it went down from my Nosy Neighbor perspective. One morning a couple weeks ago I saw her putting a suitcase in her trunk. Didn't think too much of it. Going on a trip? Visiting her sister? No biggie. But a few days later, my BF, who gets home later than me, mentioned that The Girl's car was back and backed up to the garage. Hmmm, I thought, that's something she's never done. So I casually went to look out the window (read: ran so fast I made those cartoon dust clusters come out of my feet. Because I am mature like that. When I look outside, not only is her car backed up and filled with stuff, but now the Butt Boy's pickup is backed up as well. Oh, BTW, Boy Neighbor is not at home during all this. So after awhile of not going to look out the window every 30 seconds to check on them (ahem), I see the the Butt Boy leave with a mattress. Yikes! He came back and she left a short while after and didn't come back.
Until Saturday morning. Saturday was The Big Move. My BF was working so he missed most of the excitement. Again, Boy Neighbor gone, Girl Neighbor is back with a Random Chick, and Butt Boy is there with a pickup full of freshly loaded furniture and helping them load up the girls' cars. It was a really nice day and I really wanted to go out and read a book or surf the webz outside, but there was no way I wanted to get involved in that Clusterf**k of Awkwardness.
Even though I was hedonistically preying on the drama of the Move Out, it actually kinda stresses me out in a weird way, even though we weren't close. You just don't like to see people the same age as you that have been together about the same amount of time and in a very familiar living situation like you break up. I keep expecting her little white car to be back in the driveway, but every night its the pickup. Very disconcerting. She's gone, Butt Boy is in, and apparently Boy Neighbor got custody of the Not-Assholey Asshole dog.
But let's talk about the real issue here. Does this break up mean that I really didn't win the Shower Wars, or is the break up because I shamed her so badly by winning that she had to leave. Because you know that comes down to everything, its all about me!

Wine(o) of the Weak!

This one is an oldie but a goodie. My parents have bee drinking Columbia Crest wine for years and it is the quintessential NW wine. I choose the Merlot this time, no matter what Paul Giamati thinks about Merlots and the people that drink them. I like Merlots, so deal with it Paul! Its a good steady wine, no tricks, which is true for all their wines. Anyway, almost all of Columbia Crest's wine are $9.99, an of course you can always find them a couple buckaroos cheaper on sale.



Cheers!

The Wonk