30 Wonky Things About The Wonk on Her 30th Birthday

1) My body does not Tolerate the Lactose. Which I find, frankly, just plain rude. I have to take a pill to eat cow-dairy.
2) I hate the way the the stupid pill for the dairy-challenged tastes. Like a lot. Tons. HUGE. More than Tums. Also, can I get a handicapped parking permit for "My Condition?"
3) I wish I could be both a morning person and a night owl. Right now I just have the night owl part down. Morning....not so much.
4) I can wink my left eye, but I do not have the ability to wink my right eye, which makes no sense to me. I can blink it, why not wink it?
5) I brush my teeth in the shower. It shaves like 3 very important seconds from the morning routine.
6) I can't keep a plant alive to save my GD life. The Blackest of Thumbs, am I.
7) Speaking of black, I spent a good 2 years of my life in high school telling people I was black as the result of a genetic fluke accident from being a Irish/Mexican mix because I thought it was funny. I am, in fact Irish/Mexican, and now have come to terms with not being black. I mean, seriously, I have freckles, and not the Morgan Freeman kind.
8) People were scared of me initially in high school. (See Number 7)
9) And it wasn't just because of the whole "I'm Black" thing. That came way later after people started to get my wonkiness. It might have been the skull rings, black leggings under cut-off jean shorts (that was in back then, btw), Red Hot Chili Peppers BloodSugarSexMagic T-Shirt, burnt black velvet converse (the bomb!) with pentagrams drawn on them, and a generally surly attitude. But the Grunge Era had just started and yadda yadda yadda, and there I was.
10) Did I mention that I went to an all-girls Catholic high-school? With Real Nuns!
11) I have truly been in love with my BF for over 10 years now, even though we have been together for just over 2 years.
12) I probably know more about current events and pop culture more than everyone else I know, but that's not getting me anywhere. Except for carrying on extensive conversations about Paris, Lindsey, Brit, Brangelina, etc....
13) I can't help that I know all this crap but can't manage to get a college degree in The Stuff That Counts.
14) I am taking out my tongue ring today! I got it on my 20th birthday and see it only fitting to take it out today marking the end of an era. Plus, its just about freaking time.
15) I still like Gangsta Rap. I can't wait until we are all in the nursing home together with our tats and piercing holes throwing signs at each other in the hall when we are being wheeled to dinner and rapping about bitches and hos. West Wi-ING, Baby!
16) Officially over half-way there!
17) I am totally one of those people that when a person dies in a movie, I could really care less. But if its an animal, I am totally distraught.
18) I love to read. I hope to have a real library for my books in my home one day where I can drink tea in a blanky and look out the window at the scenery. While listening to Gangsta Rap, of course.
19) I am trying very hard to get very technically savvy. I have a huge interest, but lack the innate skills or focus. But I am working on it and getting much better.
20) Even though I am trying to be a Grown-Up, I still might get my nose pierced soon.
21) I would like to be a vegetarian, and have been one before, but holy cow (lol!), I luvs me some good meat.
22) I love to cook, sometimes well, sometimes, umm, maybe not so well.
23) Because I can't just follow a recipe straight out, I always have to Wonkify it and it may not come out as intended.
24) I am obsessed with chefs, celebrity chefs (national or international) and all shows that involve cooking, especially competitive.
25) I am a savory, not sweet person.
26) Also, it MUST be spicy. As spicy as possible, like have the extinguisher close at hand. You may have to put my mouth out.
27) Last thing, about food (can you tell I am obsessed?), I LOVE condiments. Its what pretty much takes up the majority of my cupboards and fridge. And a desk drawer at work. (Note to self: call Xhibit to pimp my glove box into a condiment holder.)
28) I love sunny weather just as much as I do rainy weather. Which makes living in Portland a pretty good match for me.
29) I really really REALLY want a trampoline and someday will get one to play on. I am pretty sure I will break something while playing on it, but its a risk I am willing to take.
30) After months of kvetching and freaking out about 30, now that it has actually happened, I am surprisingly actually zen with it. I had a really good weekend with friends and a great day today, so I am cured! Yay me!