I Am About to be an Old Fart

I am turning 30 in less than 2 months and I am not ashamed to say that I AM FREAKING THE EFF OUT!!!!! I am old. It has be 12 years since it was leagal for me to pose in Playboy. My dad has had girlfriends younger than me for like 10 years now (I know, I got over it at about 23). Even though I think I look pretty good for a geriatric, I just have to wonder when I will be be the overly-medicated cuckolded partner trying to stand by her man after he has spent our (not yet existing) childrens' college funds to get Hot Carled by a 22 year old hooker.
I blame this trauma all on a good friend of mine. So far I had pretty been zen with the fact that I won't be able to say I am in my 20s anymore. I was taking preventative measures. Walking everyday at lunch. Gym after work. Gym classes in Satan's Lair after work. No fried foods for God's sake!!! So we went to her 30th birthday party a couple weeks ago and she told me to beware. She said that she thought turning 30 was OK, but when it actually happened, she freaked the eff out. Great. So I am all worked up and too sick to walk or hit the gym to meet Satan (read: personal trainer). Did I mention I am freaking the eff out about turning 30? Oh, also, my friend who is newly very old has a good job at a daycare, a husband, a home they actually own, 3 super cutie pie kids, and her pre-baby body back. So what does she have to freak out about?? Where does that put me?