Jimmy Kimmel Saves My Bank Account From Total Depletion!

I didn't even want to watch American Idol Gives tonight because I Can'tsanza me ANY of the contestants except for Carley who is probs getting kicked off tomorrow. But here I am, trying not to cry like a sissy to save face in front of my BF. And its his fault I am watching this emotionally manipulative Sally Struthers-esque dribble and its TOTALLY working on me. A fourteen year old HIV/AIDS positive and orphaned African girl who still does her homework? Annie Lennox sobbing? Katrina victims? Simon Cowell having a heart? What kind of evil Sally Struthers-AIDS-Victim-Hating person would that make me if I don't donate my entire life's savings plus, like, a kidney or two? Also, I really want to talk to Chackezie (sp?) because he has the coolest name ever. So as I am reaching for the phone (fingers crossed for the Chack-man!), Jimmy Kimmel totally serves Simon Cowell in what I shall now call "Nipple Roast 2008." It was awesome. Jimmy totally called Simon out on what every God-fearing citizen has ever thought but couldn't say to him about his wierdo nipples. They're almost as big as Bobby "Nipples McGee" Flay's. Almost. So it totally broke my guilt-tripped humanitarian mood and I still have an account balance that is not a blaring red color. Thank you, Jimmy Kimmel. Thank you.

OK- For realz, gots to get Oprah on your asses. It is a genuine reminder when those problems of the world are put in my face that when I am feeling stressed, down, or generally crappy about my life, that its really not that bad in the whole scheme of things. Not too shabby at all.

PS Sorry to the Boss Lady for the AI post. I know its banished from your life just like the Its Apostrophe is banished from mine. I just can't help myself.